* Knowing I’m the fiction I’m no longer subjected to the fictitious
continuity between consecutive pages of the book. There is no continuity,
only discontinuity. Continuity doesn’t appear unless I consent to it.
This quote was written by a person who has gone through a spiritual awakening on the experience and where it left him. Going through that can change how you see the world and experience yourself. People going through this may experience the person they thought they were is no longer relevant or even who they are. They see through the veils of themselves, the real truth which ends up being less definable and more amorphous. Also who you come to see you is more the truth of you which is vast, infinite, and beyond definitions. I laugh to think that I am a fictitious character in my story, and in the stories of others, though they may write me as differently. As everyone is a projection of who you made them up to be and nobody is really real. It feels good to give up these scripts, this acting, these characters. It can also be scary to realize that you are nothing, a nobody, without this old identity. It dies in waves. One going through an awakening has times in pure beingness where there is that clarity. There are other times where the conditioned mind comes through along with the pain body that Eckhart Tolle talks about. A person awakening may go through a feeling of loss when the state of spiritual awakeness goes away.They may feel like a failure and want so much to return to a blissful state of peace. But it is not failure, it is merely more learning to embody a higher level of awakeness. It is the nature of being humant that conditioning arises. The difference after spiritual awakening is that one is able to witness the pain body while they are having it. They come out of the deep pain body states of emotional pain much more quickly.
I really love the idea of letting go of always needing continuity as mentioned in this quote. I am pretty intuitive and abstract and non-linear naturally so it gives me validation as much of the world is not that way. The value of discontinuity is being in the now. Being in the now, watch past and future as stories drop away. Along with that is anxiety or regret or concern. There is only presence left. Another great thing about being this way, non-linear, is to allow magic and miracles to show up without a logical reason. I love that possibility! It is saying a+b does not always equal c. It might, but it might not. Furthermore, Stephen Jourdain says "Continuity doesn’t appear unless I consent to it." He is taking responsibility for his experience of reality. The nature of reality is really fluid and mutable instead of solid and concrete.
I am seeing how a spiritual awakening can break up what you are sure about. It can make you go inside for answers. It can make you access truth from another place that you did not before. The duality or logical concrete place won't cut it anymore. A sledgehammer comes and destroys some belief systems and you are left with uncertainty about many things. But in this is a newfound freedom and a new way of moving through the world. It feels like lots of the anxiety that one experiences planning for the future, for example, goes away. Less distress arises when difficult things happen to you. You realize that all you have to do is show up in every moment. You realize that consciousness takes care of everything one way or another. Before you felt like you had to arrange everything and do everything for anything you desire to happen. After spiritual awakening, you may feel like it gets taken care of, and you have fewer preferences one way or another. You are taken care of and in flow of the experience of life.
May you be in the flow,
Shannon Luminance River
Akashic Intuitive Blogging and Readings